Alas, I have decided to return to you. Shh, don't ask why I left, don't ask why I return, it is, for all intents and purposes, the mystique that I must keep as only I can. So do not fear, do not hold back, just accept me as I am, and take this journey with me.

I have gone down a path recently, and I feel inclined to share with you my recent discoveries, and hope that possibly they may enlighten you as well. Over the past month I have unknowingly boarded a hellish roller coaster that I don't think is quite over yet, I'm afraid. In essence I had completely given up on many things and checked out, seemingly content to go thru life on auto pilot b/c that just seemed easier. But of course, for those that know me, know that I am a passionate person, and also a realist, and so auto pilot was an illusion I could only live in for so long. That length was about 4 weeks. Although in the last 2 weeks, God has decided to crack my fragile little illusion like an egg and let all the crap spill out, and at first I was really annoyed by this b/c I didn't want to come back to reality, I was fine pretending I was fine with whatever was going on, and I didn't really want to step up and fight again b/c I was too freakin' tired. I thought I had put in enough time for awhile and essentially benched myself. Well, that wasn't working with God and so, knowing me as only he does, kicked me in the ass, and woke me up. Here are a few things I learned:

1) Coffee is a comforting, enjoyable beverage, not a life support plan. So I have decided that I am to cut down on the caffeine and turn to hot drinks that don't tend to eat thru your stomach lining like a parasite on steroids. Such as, Green Tea, and even better, decaf green tea.

2) Not everyone is going to like you all the time, so suck it up and do what you gotta do. Make every effort to keep peace, but not when that compromises truth. Then you need to let go and let God, and move on.

3) Being stubborn is a two-edged sword, sometimes can be a good thing, but most of the time confesses to some form of pride in your life, so the faster that you allow God to rip that out of your life, the easier it will be b/c he will take the pride out, and fill that gap with humility. It can be an easy process, or it can be a long, treacherous road, YOUR CHOICE.

4) Are YOU the savior of the world? NO! So back off and let God do it! "Ya can't save them all Hasselhoff!"

5) And finally, when certain friends move out of your life, as they most often will, b/c change in inevitable, God will always place someone new there so you can support and encourage one another as you journey together.

So, there is where I am at, and why I haven't been writing for a while b/c to be honest I didn't know what to write about or how to put it into words until just this moment.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (The Message)

3-6"The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that wayÂnever have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity."

posted by Tennille @ 7:27 PM

5 Comments:

At 3:53 PM, Anonymous said…

Wow! Preach it sista'!
At 5:54 PM, D said…

Wowzers.
I, for one, am glad you're back. And it's totally crazy, some of the things you mentioned echoed the way I've been feeling and that's the same verse God gave me two weeks ago! Sweetnss.
At 2:25 PM, Anonymous said…

I continue to stand in awe of the explicit ways you are able to put profound thoughts and fleeting emotions into words that captivate and communicate so effectively. I love you and miss you more than words can describe.
At 9:50 AM, Kimi said…

Welcome Back!!!!! I missed you!!!!!
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous said…

oh you ARE here. whew! lately i admit to contemplating a four-hour jaunt into the desert of bc and glaring at the arguments of time-space reality... my thanks for your expression of now. been anywhere nonstop lately?!?