I couldn't tell you who i'm writing this to. I don't know if any of you even read this anymore, but I find the need once more to express/vent, whatever you want to call it, some thoughts. I know I haven't been faithful with my blogging, what can I say? An artist must have inspiration!! Ha ha, yeah that's it...my excuse. Anyway...

So my summer has been a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions. And not one of those fun, strolling-along-look-at-the-pretty-flowers-and-butterflys-not-even-holding-onto-the-safety-device-type of rollercoasters. I'm talking the ride you wished you opted not to go on b/c it's going straight to hell and back again and once you get off you purchase a t-shirt saying you "survived" that ride b/c now you know why people want to brag about that kind of thing type of rides. You all know what I'm talking about, when life throws you those curve balls that wack you right in the groin and your still expected to go on and run the bases anyway. (yes, I, Tennille, actually just used a sports analogy....what is this world coming to??) So yeah, that's about it.

On July 29, 2007 I lost a very special man in my life. My Papa. I'm so fortunate to have called this man "Papa", many people have tried to describe his character, and the person he was, and to me, even the most eloquent of poets couldn't do him justice. Mostly b/c he was a man of peace and few words, but when I think of him, I see his eyes. The most brilliant of blue, whatever he was feeling came thru those eyes. You could look in those eyes and be lost in the love radiating from them. You knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were loved, and there was nothing on this earth that could harm you when you were in his arms. He was tall, strong, and beautiful. He carried himself with grace and compassion and a dignity that came from his relationship with his Lord. I count myself privileged to be in his family and to be part of the life of such a great man. I love you Papa, and miss you (but I'll see you again!)

To the others that have come and gone so swifty from my life this year, I love you with all my heart and hope you know that you are and always will be more dear to me then I can even express. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life, even just for a short time, and for teaching me so many things about life, and about you and myself in the short year that we spent together. You are always in my heart and will never lose your place there.

It's been a rough year all around for many people. I've noticed that a lot of people that I've spoken to about this have all had "just one of those years", particularly christians. It makes me wonder, could we be on the verge of something huge that God wants to do in our lives, churches, and nation??? We are always first put thru the fire to be refined and having sacrificed the flesh and been made new, we are then able to come into the holy of holies and presented before our Lord as a sweet fragrance, swept up in the glory of God. I know many people are being stirred and awakened, a new passion being burned in our hearts, and to be honest, as difficult as this year has been, it excited me to think that maybe, if we are willing, and open God will open up the heavens, new and fresh and in a way we've never seen before. YAY!! That's exciting!!

Phillipians 3:7-8
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him..."

Adieu

Song of the Day - You Are My Hope - By Skillet

posted by Tennille @ 1:02 AM

3 Comments:

At 3:24 PM, Annie said…

Wow... what you wrote about your Papa is so beautiful. I didn't know him, I mostly saw him around at church and occasionally at your house when we were growing up, but he always seemed to be so at peace. Such a rare thing. I'm sorry you had to go through the loss of such a special person this summer along with everything else you've had to go through. With everything you've gone through the past year, I know it has formed you and will continue to form you into an even stronger person than you already are, with an amazing depth of authority and wisdom. I can't wait to see you (maybe tomorrow?!?) and catch up.
At 2:23 PM, Anonymous said…

I still check your blog on a regular basis, and I know how you feel about needing inspiration. I've been thinking about blogging since August.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Papa. I didn't know him, but I could sense his strength and beauty of character whenever I saw him working quietly around the church or at events.
I also feel you with the whole hard year / especially for Christians / anticipation of God doing something big soon bit. I feel that exactly!
-Danica
At 7:06 PM, Annie said…

Tennilley, where arrrrrrrrre youuuuuuu?