While practicing for my future career aspirations in espionage, I decided to study the behavioral characteristics of my fellow human beings. This was definitely a beneficial exercise for a future espionage-ist such as myself. Let me share with you the outcome of my expedition.

Destination : The Mall
Well, to begin with, people do not like being watched when they know they are being watched, that is very evident by the reactions you get when someone has discovered you watching them. I believe the most common term would be "creepy". Ok, fair enough, but the most interesting to me is what people do when they don't think they are being watched (no I've not taken up stalking. I watch all people in general, instead of just specifically signaling out one person) for example we have 3 different behaviors that are generally practiced in the bathroom or in private, but laziness to run to the bathroom eludes people, and so they tend to carry on, trying to hide the behavior as if nothing has happened.

Consider Exhibit A: The Wedgie Grab
Ok, so here is the classic example of what many people do in public but is still considered a "taboo" in society. And really, who can argue with that? Who really wants to watch a whole bunch of people picking at their rear ends trying to pick out the material that has so conveniently wedged itself up there.
If you watch closely, you can judge the grade of the wedgie by how hard the individual has to work to pick out said wedgie. Some are just little quick, hardly noticeable (except to the trained eye) flicks of the wrist, while others can be only be explained in one word, "Ouch!", or the phrase "Seriously!" seem to be quite common reactions.

My professional opinion for a solution? Either let this person know that to go commando maybe uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as having that much fabric separating your "cheeks". Either that or buy the poor soul some decent unmentionables.

Exhibit B: The Gold Digger
We've all seen it, and perhaps done it as well, but this is the perfect example of why people should ALWAYS carry a package of Kleenex in their purse, or jacket pocket, or whatever. It's the finger shoved so far up the nasal cavity that the party in question may need surgical assistance to retrieve it. As I continued to study my subjects, one question began to form in my thoughts. What do they do with...uh...the "nuggets" that are being extracted? I did a study and found these statistics interesting.
30% of the studies were "Flickers" - putting the tip of their index finger against their thumb and flicking in a forward motion, allowing the "nugget" to fly, at will, across the room until coming in contact with a barrier, ending its flight and clinging to said barrier. After much study, I found that most common technique used by these "Flickers" was to roll the "nugget" into a ball before "flicking".
47% of studies were "Depositors" - deciding it best to hide their social sin, the individual will ever so stealthily smear the "nugget" on the next surface the finger, or "digging tool", comes in contact with. Many times you will not even know that the person has done this until it's too late. Many merchandisers have fallen prey to the "Depositors" way of dealing with their publicly scorned habit.
23% of studies observed were "Consumers" - Perhaps the most considerate, yet revolting of the offenders, this study showed that while the "Flickers" and the "Depositors" left trails of evidence to their crimes, the "Consumers" prefer to consume the findings of their nasal cavities so as not to leave a trail. A poll taken of this particular specimen revealed it to be the most horrendous of social offenses.

My Professional opinion for a solution? CARRY KLEENEX WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES!!!

Exhibit C: Public Lovers
This category needs no introduction. But the question remains foremost in many minds is how far is too far? One anonymous individual states, "Holding hands, little kisses, hugs, flirting, all these things are natural behavior, and aren't disruptive, or disturbing to the public eye. What can be classified as "making-out" aggressive, or continual kissing, groping, grabbing private areas or the other partners bodies, these are all inappropriate in social situations..." After interviewing random persons, I found this topic to be one that many people had strong opinions on. It was also evident by the reactions that a couple that displayed aggressive public displays of affections received from others around them. There was the eye-roll and loud sigh of disapproval, and then the "Oh that's just disgusting" that is exclaimed loud enough for the couple to hear. Mothers would cover their children's eyes and quickly remove the child from the scene, while others (dare I say it?) seemed to even enjoy the display...None of these reactions, however, seemed to phase the couple's quest to express their affection for each other to as many onlookers as possible.

My professional opinion for a solution? Keep it PG out there people. X-rated is for the privacy of your own home.

SO there you have it, the conclusion of my expedition. I may be given an even harder mission by my superiors if this report was satisfactory. Thank you and good night!

Song of the Day: Theme Song from "Get Smart"

Labels: huh?

posted by Tennille @ 1:05 AM 4 comments

Not A LIfe Support Plan...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Alas, I have decided to return to you. Shh, don't ask why I left, don't ask why I return, it is, for all intents and purposes, the mystique that I must keep as only I can. So do not fear, do not hold back, just accept me as I am, and take this journey with me.

I have gone down a path recently, and I feel inclined to share with you my recent discoveries, and hope that possibly they may enlighten you as well. Over the past month I have unknowingly boarded a hellish roller coaster that I don't think is quite over yet, I'm afraid. In essence I had completely given up on many things and checked out, seemingly content to go thru life on auto pilot b/c that just seemed easier. But of course, for those that know me, know that I am a passionate person, and also a realist, and so auto pilot was an illusion I could only live in for so long. That length was about 4 weeks. Although in the last 2 weeks, God has decided to crack my fragile little illusion like an egg and let all the crap spill out, and at first I was really annoyed by this b/c I didn't want to come back to reality, I was fine pretending I was fine with whatever was going on, and I didn't really want to step up and fight again b/c I was too freakin' tired. I thought I had put in enough time for awhile and essentially benched myself. Well, that wasn't working with God and so, knowing me as only he does, kicked me in the ass, and woke me up. Here are a few things I learned:

1) Coffee is a comforting, enjoyable beverage, not a life support plan. So I have decided that I am to cut down on the caffeine and turn to hot drinks that don't tend to eat thru your stomach lining like a parasite on steroids. Such as, Green Tea, and even better, decaf green tea.

2) Not everyone is going to like you all the time, so suck it up and do what you gotta do. Make every effort to keep peace, but not when that compromises truth. Then you need to let go and let God, and move on.

3) Being stubborn is a two-edged sword, sometimes can be a good thing, but most of the time confesses to some form of pride in your life, so the faster that you allow God to rip that out of your life, the easier it will be b/c he will take the pride out, and fill that gap with humility. It can be an easy process, or it can be a long, treacherous road, YOUR CHOICE.

4) Are YOU the savior of the world? NO! So back off and let God do it! "Ya can't save them all Hasselhoff!"

5) And finally, when certain friends move out of your life, as they most often will, b/c change in inevitable, God will always place someone new there so you can support and encourage one another as you journey together.

So, there is where I am at, and why I haven't been writing for a while b/c to be honest I didn't know what to write about or how to put it into words until just this moment.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (The Message)

3-6"The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that wayÂnever have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity."

posted by Tennille @ 7:27 PM 5 comments

About Me

Name: Tennille
Home: Kamloops, B.C, Canada
About Me: I pretty much prefer to let people draw their own conclusions...
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